|The carosel wheel and mulberry tree. With the cabin I grew up in the back ground.|
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Just A Random Thought
What do "outsiders" see looking in..............??
I don’t know how so-called “professionals” can presume to say they know what went on on the homestead. First of all, they weren’t there. They didn’t see anything. They don’t know anything. They don’t know what happened. Do they imagine that all the siblings were lined up in a pretty row like in the pictures in the newspaper with smiles all in one place at one time? Do they think we all think alike, have the same experiences, were treated exactly alike? Do they know anything about mind control, brainwashing, severe abuse? Do they realize many times the siblings were separated in different cabins/sheds/tents throughout acres of woods/fields where you could not hear/see anything? Do they realize that some siblings are much older or younger than other siblings and witnessed totally different things. Do they know the leader (my father) had a special language (codes) he used within his own family? Do they know that people on the outside viewed us as weird, odd? We were asked if we were refuges, from different countries. We were made fun of for being odd, called “retarded" by teenagers. Do they realize that our father made us completely “unbelievable” to anybody? No matter what we say we sound delusional. For years I have had to lie even to therapists about my background because they thought it sounded crazy or laughed at me. We worked hard at making the lives we have now. It took amazing strength and guts. I just want to say to all my siblings: I AM AMAZINGLY PROUD OF YOU!!!!!
When approached by someone about my background, my first response to lie. Until recently I was not willing to even face what happened to me. Professionals need to realize that someone coming from a very traumatic background that has been subject to mind-control and brainwashing is going to lie or be in denial. Some people have blocked out most of the traumatic details and are trying to move on with their lives.
I left the homestead in 1994. I went through my share of denial, self-hate, drinking, and have come to terms with the abuse in my own time. It only took me 18 years. Somebody who just left the homestead two years or even 10 years might not have come to terms with the abuse yet and it would be wrong to force them to try do that.
Posted by Guadalupe Maria at 10:46 AM